Why Do People Say Marines Eat Crayons? Complete Explainer and Faq on Military Slang
Ask a Marine which crayon tastes best, and you will receive an immediate, deadpan answer. The community developed an entire fake culinary hierarchy around paraffin wax colors. Writing for defense lifestyle platform Sandboxx, veteran Alex Hollings pointed out the near-universal consensus among grunts: red is the favorite color because it tastes like cherries or strawberry jam.
Green crayons are universally tagged as green-apple or military jalapeno cheese spread. Blue crayons allegedly taste like blue raspberry sports drinks. Yellow crayons are widely despised for tasting like dry garrison chalk. This hyper-specific mock-sommelier routine serves a distinct psychological purpose. In high-stress military environments, absurd shared jokes create instant bonds across ranks.
Junior enlisted riflemen and seasoned Master Gunnery Sergeants share few casual touchpoints, but both know the exact comedic reaction expected when someone drops an open pack of Crayola on a briefing desk. The absurdity disarms the rigid hierarchy of military life.
